Tore Hatlen's blog

Realizations

You might recall that I wrote about traditions in a previous posting. Well, yesterday I got to have my yearly tradition of Mini Donuts at the PNE.

Another tradition became clear that day as well. The SuperDogs. For those not familar with this show, it's a high energy dog show in which the dogs do some tricks and have a few races. I hadn't originally intended to see the dogs however, one other thing we were going to check out was in the same venue. So as we walked through we could hear the show started. Allie wanted to see what the noise was about. So she ran over to where she could see the floor of the stadium. She was immediately hooked and spend the next 30 minutes enthralled by the dogs and what they did.

As she watched and I watched her, I remembered when we brought Hannah to the PNE her last summer. She loved watching the dogs and because she couldn't walk on her own at that time, she was in a srtoller. We were shown to the show floor and got a front row seat. Hannah loved watching the dogs and wanted to meet the dogs after the show when the dogs are available to the public to come and meet them. She was only able to meet with two of them but it was enough. She was happy the rest of the day. 

After the show was over, Allie wanted to do the same. So with a little bit of a hollow feeling we walked down the stairs to the floor and started to walk around visiting the dogs. Allie had a brief visit with each dog and gave it a hug and some pats before moving to the next one. It was very sweet and reminded me of her older sister.

It was then that I realized that now Allie was my oldest daughter.

I may be off by a day or two, but Allie is now as old as Hannah was when she passed away. They are both now 5 and a half years old. However, only Allie will be getting older while Hannah remains Forever Five. 

While I felt sad at the realization, I was also take pride in known that Allie has a little bit of Hannah in her and a little bit of Kathie. Both will see her through and guide her through her life.

Summer Traditions

Everyone has a summer tradition of some kind. The same lake front cabin location for the family holiday; BBQ and beers with family and/or friends on Canada day; road trip to visit family the next province over and well, you get the idea. You do it every year, at more or less the same time.

For me, the tradition the last few years has been mini-donuts at the PNE Fair. For those not from the Vancouver area, the PNE is the Pacific National Exhibition, your basic country fair. Rides, games, animals and music. It's celebrating it's 100th year this summer. I used to go every year when I was younger, ride the rides, eat the cotton candy and watch the Demolition Derby. Then for a few year, I didn't go. A few turned into 10, then 15. Kathie always like going to the fair and she got me back into it. Now however, I go more for the fun of watching Allie. She rides the rides, plays the games and watches the Super Dogs. Me? I watch Allie, pay for the ride tickets, pay for the games and eat the the mini-donuts.

Why, I hear you ask. Because they are so darn good. Freshly cooked, covered in sugar and cinnamon and bit sized. One bag for $3 or 2 for $5. It's so easy to polish off a bag before you realize it. That's my summer tradition.

Oh, and an increase in the number of Slurpees as well. It's darn hot out there.

Two in a row

Hi again,

I decided I'm going to try to put up a short post as often as I can. Sometimes it may be a long rambling missive on some esoteric topic, other times it will be a short rant on whatever might have annoyed me that day, and maybe even sometimes a glimmer of reflective genius. 

For those that know me, you'll know that I've become a comic book reader. But I wonder if people still think that comics books are for kids? I hear a lot of that from a variety of people. Have you read a comic book lately? Some of the stories are far better then the books you'll find on the best seller lists. That's because some of the authors are those same best selling writers. The art is great and production qualities are very high. So I urge you to try one out sometime. Lots of libraries now have comics books for borrow, most bookstores have a graphic novel section and there are still a few old fashioned comic book stores around. Heck if  you have an iPad, iPod, or one of the myriad of electronic devices, you can even get comics digitally.

Forget about that boring old novel without any illustrations. Pick up a comic and try something different. You might just like it. They aren't all capes and tights any more. Let me know if you have ventured out of your normal reading list, or if you'd like a suggestion.

It's been a while

Wow, It's been a while since I wrote my last blog entry. Guess I've been either to busy, not interested, had nothing to write about, or just plain forgot. It's a little of all of them really. I've had a busy summer, done some travelling, moved and gotten rid of some of the clutter in my life. The Fall probably won't be any less busy, I won't be traveling that I'm aware of, no more moves planned and will probably collect some new clutter while continuing to get rid of the old.

Sometimes, you can dictate how your life unfolds. Other times, you're only along for the ride. It's been a lot of riding the the last few years. So I'm going to see if I can do a dictating. Not exactly sure the hows, whats, wheres and all of that but I'll make an effort.

Getting back to writing this blog might just be a start.

See ya again soon.

A new outlook on Life

Hello again,

So begins a couple of month with dates that can be hard to go through considering what has happened in my past. This year however, I'm trying to look at life a little differently. Remembering the past but looking to the future. I'm trying to find ways let go of some of my grief and (as they say) move forward. I can't forget and I can't go back. My life has been pushed in a new direction and it's taken some time to find out how to follow the new path in the right way. I've stumbled on the way, gotten lost a time or two but I think I've managed to get back on track.

I've found some inspiration and guidance in some of the strangest places lately. It's amazing what you can find, hear, read, see, in your life and where that might take place. One of them was in a comic book. Those that know me well, know I have become interested in comics and graphic novels. In a recent issue of The Justice Society of America there was this bit of narration:

"Want to know what it means to be a Super-Hero?

It means continuing to fight on when your weapons have been taken from you. When all the chips are down and chances of survival are effectively zero. It's about not accepting ZERO as a possibility.

It also means inspiring others. Finding the Hero in all of us, when needs must"

This is how I see the kids like Hannah that lost the battle to cancer. They fought on when everything had been taken from them. They have inspired others to fight on, when everything has been taken from us. That's one of the sentiments that drives Hannah's Heroes and to an extent me. Those kids have all inspired me.

Another place I found some guidance was in a song. I'm not going to tell you what song it was, unless you really push. Frankly I'm a little embarrassed about who the artist is and liking some of their songs. That is a story for another day. However, the song is about finding a way to let go and move on. Things will never be the same and they can't be the same they were. 

So with a new look on things, I'm hoping the spring will continue the way it has. It's been pretty good, and  I'm feeling positive about the future. 

Tore

A rare birthday occurance

April 6th was Allie's 5th birthday. She is now as old as her older sister Hannah. That's not something that often happens. Sure it's possible for two sibling to be born within a year of each other or they can be twins/triplets/etc. But what about when they are born 4 years apart?

Allie is now as old as Hannah was when she passed away. It's strange and sad to think of it that way. Allie calls Hannah her "Big Sissie" (sometimes anyway) and she will always be that. It's just that Hannah will always be a "Forever Five" girl. She won't reach those birthdays like Sweet Sixteen when she can get a driver's license , 19 when she is allowed to (legally) drink alcohol, and so many other 'milestone' birthdays.

I get a little down when I think about it. But I know that Hannah would be very proud of how Allie is doing. So would Kathie. Allie is a bright, smart, funny girl. She's turning out to be quite the kid. I'm really proud of her. Even she's not on her best behavior. :-)

Pink is not the best color when in the Eye

So you have to know that getting a phone call from the person looking after your daughter can make you wonder what they might be calling about. Especially, when they hardly ever call but instead just Text or email. While I let the first call go unanswered because I was dealing with a customer, I figured I'd check the voice mail and call back if required. However there was an immediate call back so i know something was up. A quick Hold for customer and I pick up the call with some apprehension.

Pink eye, she says. OK, not the worst it could have been. Breathe a sigh of relief and tell her I'll try to track down Allie's Grandma to some by and pick her up. Finish up the call, a quick call to Grandma, who says, no problem, I'll get her and meet you at home; then call the Dr for a quick appt, We can get you in at 5:30" she says, OK i agree happy to be able to get an appointment at all just before a long weekend.

Close up things at work and head on home to get Allie and head home to get Allie. Dr has a look, a quick check, Yup, Pink Eye. Prescription and then home to rest and recover. 

Now two days later it's looking better, she's feeling better and she's eager for the Easter bunny to come by tonight. Which reminds me, I better go and make sure his leaves behind something for her.

Good night and Happy Easter!

Another month gone by...

Well, April is closing in fast and that means it's birthday month in this house. Allie will be turning 5 and I'll be turning another year older. I don't think 5 is necessarily a milestone birthday but it marks the 2nd one that Allie will be having without her mom. Kathie was really good at planning parties like this but I've got a fun party planned for her with lots of friends. I'm getting better at that kind of thing.

In late June Allie and I will be traveling to Norway with my family to have a reunion of sorts with our family there. We'll have a few days in Oslo before heading North to Molde to what I consider my Norwegian home town. It's beautiful small city on the west coast that in many ways reminds me of Vancouver. Mountains on one side and ocean on the other. Should be a lot fun. I'm sure Allie will enjoy it all. 

In July it's back to Comic-Con in San Diego for me. I had a great time last year and wanted to do it again. It's 4 days of Nerdvana that covers comics, movies, books, toys and TV.

Anyway, it's off to bed for me.

Talk at ya all later.

Tore

Sleepless in Tsawwassen

Every have one of those nights when no matter how tired you are, you can't seem to get to sleep? Well, that was me last night. I tossed and turned for the better part of the night. Allie was having a sleepover at Dorothy's so I didn't have the normal disturbance of her climbing in and also normal pokes, knees and flying elbows that accompany her being in the bed. She a restless sleeper and even on a king size bed, I still manage to have only the smallest edge. But not last night.

I spread out and got comfy earlier then I normally go to bed, but just didn't get a good sleep. The alarm came far to early.

Not much to report on the house being for sale. The open house on the weekend went well, and a fair number of people came through. Still waiting for an offer though. I'd prefer that the house sell quickly now that it is up on the market. Not just because of the big mortgage but now that I'm doing it, I'd like for it to be done.

Well, I suppose I should get ready to head to work. Seems my computer fan is having some issues, sounds like a jet engine ready to taxi down the runway. I better check it tonight. Yeah.

Tore

A new direction and some changes..

So, I'm starting a new thing here.

I'm heading in a new direction with my life and with that new direction comes some changes. As some will know, I have listed the house for sale. On one hand it was not an easy decision to make but on the other hand, financial reality was staring me in the face and I blinked. It's just not realistic for Allie and I to stay in the house anymore. Being a single parent with a single income tends to limit a lot of the choices I can make and things I can do. Having a big mortgage is one of them. So now comes the task of finding a place where Allie and I can start making new memories. 

It's amazing the amount of...stuff/junk/crap/treasures that a person accumulates over a lifetime. Right now I have to go through the things that I've collected in my own lifetime plus the years together with Kathie. Its amazing the things you find in a box in the attic that you haven't looked at in years. Probably since it was put up there the day after moving in. A few photos, a birthday card and a few odds and ends make up the top layer, then underneath that are the tickets from the honeymoon cruise, a bill for some cocktails in cruise ship bar, and some photos that never made the album. Mind you, there never actually was an album. Maybe I should do that...

So needless to say, it's been a week with some ups and downs. It's going to be very hard to let the house go. To close the door that final time, lock it up and give up the key will not be an easy thing. There are a lot of memories in this house. But as I've been reminded, with no malice intended, it is just a house. The memories are in my mind and my heart, they will always be with me. It will be strange to walk or drive past the house and see others living here. but after a while, that will be easier.

This new blog is an effort on my part to move away from blogging about myself or Allie on the Foundations blog page. That should be saved for things about the Foundation, fund-raising and events. This blog will be about me and Allie and the things we get up to.

Well, that's going to be it for tonight. I'm going to try to do this on a reasonably regular basis again. I found that doing the blog in years past was good therapy. At the time I needed to do it. And I think that I might need to do that again.

Tore